The 92nd annual Miss America Pageant took place last week, and let me tell you, it’s just as ridiculous as ever.

The pageant is made up of contestants from the 50 states plus D.C., Puerto Rico and the US Virgin Islands. The contestants must compete in several rounds, being judged on evening wear and their talents, among others. I can’t quite pinpoint what exactly made me want to watch the corny ABC network special, which aired on Saturday, Jan. 12, but it was entertaining nonetheless. Together, folks, let’s take a look at my top five reasons why the Miss America Pageant is the most absurd thing ever.

 1. The embarrassing introductory background dancing

At the beginning of the pageant, the contestants introduced themselves in pre-filmed segments. Each of these segments consisted of the contestants saying their name, title and something witty about the state they are representing. While doing so, the contestants showed off their ability to execute simple but cheesy choreography that they were most likely forced to practice about one hundred times.

2. Calling the swimsuit round the “Lifestyle & Fitness” round

Let’s be honest; strutting around the stage in a skimpy two-piece doesn’t necessarily represent any certain lifestyle or state of fitness. For all we know, the slim beauty queen we see on stage might only eat McDonalds and cupcakes and have a really fast metabolism. Just call it the bikini round, gosh darn it. Also note the fact that all of the contestants were given donuts while on air following this round. For what reason, I’m not so sure. My sister and I absolutely lost it when they began distributing donuts. Yes, I bet they are trying to make the statement that these girls do, in fact, eat, but if the round is called “Lifestyle & Fitness,” why don’t you feed them salads?

3. The cringeworthy “talents”

‘Nuff said.

4. Annoying product placement

Simply put, the excessive sponsor advertisements reminded me of the Disney Parks Christmas Day Parade desperately trying to persuade me to take a visit to Disney World. Thank God for TiVo – no commercials for me.

5. The attempt to turn the pageant into a dramatic reality show

This year’s pageant was co-hosted by “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” host Chris Harrison and “Dancing With The Stars” host Brooke Burke-Charvet. This is a beauty pageant, my friends – no need for the dramatics. Personally, I think they need to leave their antics at the rose ceremonies and on the dance floor. Plus, let’s be real here; the only thing worth getting people worked up about is which catty sleazeball is not going to get a rose.