Pick-me-ups for positive thinking

Eight tips for staying happy and optimistic more often

Pick-me-ups+for+positive+thinking

Raya Lehan, Mill Valley News editor-in-chief

For Christmas last year, I received a book called ‘Think Happy’ by Karen Salmansohn and after reading through all the advice, I made it my New Year’s resolution that 2017 was going to be the year where I was more positive. Unlike most years, I actually have kept up this goal thus far; when I catch myself wanting to complaining about Monday mornings or how tired I am, I make an attempt to think about something else instead. Here are some of the things that have kept me happy and smiling and some things that I remind myself of when I’m starting to feel down in the dumps or negative.

  1. Appreciate what you have. More often than not, I hear people who are just complaining. I’ve been in musical practice and I’ve heard people complaining about the part they received, or I’ll be in NHS and I’ll hear people complaining that they had to wake up early to be there. Think about it this way: there is probably someone who wishes they had your part in the musical and there definitely is someone who didn’t make it into NHS when you did. No matter who you are, you have something to be thankful for, whether it’s small or large. So instead of focusing on what you don’t have, remember what you do have.   
  2. Forgive and forget. Everyone has had an experience where someone or something has upset them and when you go through this negative experience, it is very easy to dwell on it. You’ll stay upset for a week, then a month and suddenly three months have gone by and you’re still talking about your ex, your disagreement with your friend, or that spill that your sister left on the dress she borrowed. The best advice I can give for staying positive in these situations is to forgive your ex, forgive your friend and forgive your sister. Forgiving individuals and events that have hurt you in the past won’t change what happened, but it does give you the chance to be happier and more positive in the future. It prevents your pessimistic past from continuing to control your life.
  3. Try new things and be adventurous. Obviously trying something new can be really scary, but it can also make you excited about life as well.

    The days where I have felt happy and confident in my own skin are also the days where I have felt the most happy and positive 

    — Mill Valley New Online Editor-in-Chief Raya Lehan

    Your everyday pattern can cause you to be negative; if you wake up, make coffee, go to school, do homework and then go to sleep every night that can start to get repetitive and boring. By adding something new to your routine, you create an opportunity for yourself to look forward to an activity that you don’t normally do. On a smaller scale, I’ve started journaling every single night this year, which I had never done before 2017. Adding this into my schedule has given me a way to relax at night and, I believe, has helped me to become more positive. On a larger scale, I will be attending Iowa State University next year, which is a large and scary adventure. I am nervous to be going to school four hours away from where I currently live, but I am also really excited to be an ISU cyclone; I have something to look forward to on a daily basis. So if you’re feeling negative or unhappy and you just don’t know why, try adding something new to your life to spice up your everyday routine and see if that helps. 
  4. Let it go. If something is making you unhappy, but there is nothing you can do about it, the best thing you can do for yourself is to just let it go. Getting upset over the D on your math quiz or getting irritated that the pizza delivery is five minutes late isn’t going to change anything in the end. Life isn’t perfect, but that’s okay because you can still be happy! Instead of getting down over your math quiz, take a deep breath and realize that the quiz is over, and you can’t change that grade. Then focus on what you can do differently for the next quiz to get a better score, or maybe you can do some extra credit. Same with the pizza delivery, no matter how frustrated you get, you can’t change the speed at which your pizza is arriving. So just take a deep breath and let it go; if you can’t do anything to change a situation you shouldn’t let it continue to upset you.
  5. Try not to stress out. High school is a busy time and when so much going on in your life, it’s really easy to get grumpy and snap at people. Stress is honestly like the flu, it spreads like crazy. It’s very easy to let this ‘bad bug’ go around because you’re stressed, your best friend is stressed and your teacher is stressed too. But this year, I realized that when I stress myself out, that is just one more thing I have to worry about. If I instead just take a deep breath and relax, not only am I happier, but I don’t have to work myself up into a tizzy. Being stressed only adds more stress to your life and it’s a gateway to negativity. To combat stress, use your planner; take a long bath and breathe. Remember, in the end everything is going to be okay.
  6. Compliment others! Not only does giving compliments to others spread positivity, it can also help to boost your happiness as well. Maybe this is just me, but I love making other people smile. So whenever I’m not feeling super happy, I try to make an effort to compliment other people. Plus, the best part about this positivity trick is that it’s super easy. Walking down the hallway you can compliment others on their outfit or their hair. When you’re in a classroom you can compliment someone on a project they are working on. I know that in yearbook and broadcast I am always amazed by what my fellow peers can create and I love to compliment them on their story packages, designs, stories and photographs. The best part about compliments is they not only boost your positivity, but they make other people happy as well.

    Nothing will give you the same feeling as when you can look in the mirror and say, “Yup, I am amazing” and truly mean it.

    — Mill Valley New Online Editor-in-Chief Raya Lehan

  7. Smile more. Okay this might sound very cheesy and typical, but hear me out. Smiling really does help to increase positivity and happiness. Psychologists have found that your facial expressions don’t only communicate your emotions, but they also influence your emotions as well. Therefore, if you force yourself to smile throughout the day, even if smiling is the last thing you want to do, chances are that your mood is going to increase. Not to mention, when you’re walking down the hallway smiling at others, that encourages other people to smile as well. I know that I’ve personally been in bad moods, but when a friend of mine makes eye contact with me in the hall and smiles and waves, it does help me to feel happier, even just the slightest bit.
  8. Love yourself. Loving yourself can be a really challenging and difficult thing to do, but honestly it’s one of the best ways to feel positive on a daily basis. Sometimes when I wake up I will turn on some music and just dance around my room while I’m getting ready for the day. The other day I caught a glance of myself in the mirror while this was happening and even though I looked utterly stupid, I laughed at myself because I recognized that I was just having fun and being me. At the end of the day, you can get thousands of compliments, but nothing will give you the same feeling as when you can look in the mirror and say, “Yup, I am amazing” and truly mean it. The days where I have felt happy and confident in my own skin are also the days where I have felt the most happy and positive, so I really can’t stress this last tip enough.

Hopefully these tips and tricks help you to stay positive more often on a daily basis, even if you only use a couple of them. I love being around people who are positive and happy just as much as I like being positive and happy myself. Just remember that everyone is human and it’s okay to feel sad, upset and even negative at times. But also know that it feels pretty good to sprinkle some positivity into your life as well.

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