The student news site of Mill Valley High School

Mill Valley News

The student news site of Mill Valley High School

Mill Valley News

The student news site of Mill Valley High School

Mill Valley News

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Student finds identity in gender transformation

Junior Jacob Kidney knew he had to make a change. All of his life, he felt trapped in his body. Last summer, he decided to do something about it. Kidney officially changed his gender identity from female to male.

“I was so used to people telling me that I couldn’t make the change, so I tried to hide it. Now looking back I see that I just should have owned [my sexuality],” Kidney said.

Although Kidney always felt different from other people, seventh grade was the turning point in his life. Kidney realized he was not happy with the body he was in.

“In my eyes, it’s really not a decision to become a boy. You can either live with who you are, or you can die slowly,” Kidney said.

Kidney transferred from Gardner-Edgerton to Mill Valley over the summer so the gender transition would be easier.

“Before coming to Mill Valley, it felt like swimming laps in a swimming pool. You’re holding your breath and begging for air, but you don’t want to come up because you’re ashamed,” Kidney said. “Coming to Mill Valley was like taking a giant breath of air.”

In order to smooth Kidney’s transition into a new school, Kidney came to Freshmen Orientation to introduce himself to teachers.

“The teachers here are so amazing and open minded. It makes things a lot easier,” Kidney said.

He told them about his situation and asked that he would be called by Jacob rather than his legal name.

“During Freshmen Orientation, Jacob was very proactive and introduced himself to his teachers. The teachers really are supportive of him, and it’s never been an issue,” said guidance counselor Erin Hayes.

Kidney felt the hardest part about being transsexual was telling his parents. He now lives with his father, who has learned to accept Kidney and treat him as his son.

“I was so scared to tell them. When I told my dad that I wanted to become a guy, I was afraid he just wouldn’t do anything about it. I was scared that he would tell me that I wasn’t allowed to change,” Kidney said.

Aside from becoming transgender, Kidney is also bisexual.

“Gender identity and sexuality are totally different, they really shouldn’t be associated. It just so happens that I’m living with both of them,” Kidney said.

Kidney is currently in a relationship with his boyfriend Andrew Martinek, a 2008 graduate from Shawnee Mission Northwest.

“My boyfriend knew from the start, and he doesn’t think of me differently,” Kidney said. “He’s accepting of everyone.”

Now that Kidney has made this transition, he realizes that others may have misconceptions about him. He enrolled into a new school as a male, as an attempt to keep his life private. However rumors began to spread, so Kidney chose to address the rumors.

“Please, please don’t ask me what my real name is. I’m not ashamed of it, I just really don’t want to be made into a freak show. I’m not a freak show, I’m just a guy with a face, and this is who I am,” Kidney said.

A friend of Kidney’s, junior Kurtis Poorman, did not think any differently of him when Poorman found out about Kidney’s change.

“I know a lot of people are not very accepting, but they just need to learn to accept and be kind. In the end, we’re all just people,” Poorman said.

Kidney has advice for anyone questioning their sexuality or sexual identity.

“No one can tell you who you are, you have to figure it out for yourself,” Kidney said. “Establish a network of support, join clubs or groups. Know that you are never alone in any situation.”

Kidney faced many challenges when making this transition, however the pros outweighed the cons in his situation.

“Now that I’ve made this change, I feel like the barrier between me and the rest of the world is gone,” Kidney said. “And it really is a great feeling.”

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About the Contributor
Kristina Milewski, editor-in-chief
Senior Kristina Milewski joined the JagWire newspaper staff freshmen year as a reporter and photographer. Her sophomore and junior year she was the features editor. Now in her fourth year, Milewski is an editor-in-chief. Aside from being involved with journalism, she is also the Vice President of NHS and is involved in Student Ambassadors.

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