Even though I’ve been counting down the days until Swan Lake since February, Theater Week has somehow managed to sneak up behind me and hit me across the head with a cinder block. Repeatedly.

I don’t think it really started to sink in until last night, when I was in Gardner getting my swan tutu fitted. Something about actually putting on that white tutu brought on a sudden wave of excitement and panic that, combined with the tight corset-like bodice, almost made me pass out.

Shows are always bittersweet. It’s a nerve-wracking, stressful, exhausting and painful affair, but the feeling of getting to be up onstage and showing off everything you’ve been working on is one of the best feelings out there. You’re both relieved that it’s over, and sad that you won’t be doing it anymore. The sadness isn’t as bad for shows like Nutcracker, which we do every year. However, for a production like Swan Lake, knowing that I’m not going to be doing this again for a long time, if ever, kills me. It has been simply an amazing experience working on this extremely challenging and blister-inducing ballet, and I wouldn’t give it up for the world.