Clayton’s Catastrophic Column: #SwagWire

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First, I’d like to start off with a story.

The day is Wednesday, Jan. 14, and I have just arrived to AP Literature teacher Justin Bogart’s classroom to begin yet another journey into the wonderful world that is literature. We begin to analyze “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” a poem by famed author T.S. Eliot, and needless to say, it’s a little creepy. If you want to know for yourself, I’m sure you can find the text somewhere, but for now all you need to know is that Mr. Prufrock is kind of a weird dude. Commenting on his oddities, senior Kate Schau remarked that Prufrock seemed “like one of those middle-aged men that blogs all day in his parents’ basement about how much women hate him,” to which someone, who shall not be named, remarked, “Like Clayton?” I will have you know, person who said such vile things, that my blog is quality. Though this person would not know that, because they refuse to read my blog despite ample peer pressure. That’s fine, it’s their loss.

Now that I have that over with, let’s get back to the good stuff.

First of all, I’d like to thank everyone who has participated in the spirit days this week. Fun clothes always make for a less stressful and more exuberant learning environment, which is good for everyone. Also, I’d like to thank, in advance, the people who will attend the dance after the basketball game on Friday, you guys are the best. Don’t forget to make your way to the gym during halftime of the boys basketball game to see your King and Queen of Winter Sports crowned, it’s sure to be a momentous occasion for all.

Now, as you already know, I have officially joined the JagWire staff for the remainder of my senior year, and I’m about to conclude my second week working with the wonderful other members of the staff. A big shout out to them for teaching me the ropes and helping me get accustomed to the ways of journalism; without them I’d probably still be figuring out how to put my SD card into the computer. So, here are three things that I have learned in my four class periods of experience, though hopefully this won’t be the end of my learning process.

1. Don’t forget your camera battery. Photography editor Karissa Schmidt might as well have saved my life when she reminded me to get a battery for my camera before I was to head off to Turner High School to take pictures for my first web story. If she had not reminded me, I would have made the 20 minute drive out to Turner, realized I didn’t have a battery, and probably driven back to the school to find that I didn’t have access to the back room, and thus I would be doomed to take no pictures at all. That would’ve been pretty horrible.

2. It’s totally fine to lay on a stuffed fish for no other reason than you really want to. For those of you who may have taken a class held in the journalism room, you may have noticed the stuffed fish that occupy the back corner near the exit door. As a Photo Imaging student, I always felt it taboo to go near them, as they seemed to be some sort of sacred symbol of the journalism department. However, now I know that if you need a break from writing a story, it’s totally cool to go lay on an over-sized fish just because you feel like laying on an over-sized fish.

3. “Dancing Queen” should be played at social events more often. Last class period, I threw a little bit of a fit when web editor Jena Smith elected to play the ABBA hit “Dancing Queen” instead of Misterwives’ new song, of which I am completely obsessed with. However, I now realize that “Dancing Queen” is one of the greatest songs of the 20th century, and I think we should all make a valiant effort to get it back up to the Billboard 100, it’ll totally be worth it.

I hope to see all of you at the basketball game and dance on Friday (maybe they’ll play “Dancing Queen”?), and I wish you all luck in this cold weather; I know I need it. That is all.

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