After taking a test or quiz during my time in high school, one of the first things I would do is ask my peers what grade they got on the test. Many times, I would use their score to make me feel better or worse about my own score. If I scored higher than them I felt a sense of pride, even if I knew I could have done better. If I scored lower, I felt unsatisfied with my score, even if I was originally happy with it. I originally thought that this was just my competitive nature which was a good thing. However, at some point, the habit of comparing myself with others started to make it harder to appreciate my accomplishments. I wasn’t learning for myself; I was learning to stay ahead of others.
Especially in high school, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison. Things like test scores, grades and class ranks are all designed to sort and compare students. This makes it easy to believe that being successful means being better than other people.
However, comparing our own success with other people’s success ironically overlooks a large factor – our differences. Everybody has unique circumstances and different ways they learn. Just because someone did better than you on a test doesn’t mean that you were unsuccessful. Additionally, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are successful if you do better than a friend. Do not use someone else’s results to determine how you did. When you start comparing yourself to other people, you will begin to chase their results and not focus on improving your own. You shouldn’t use someone else’s success or failure to define your own terms of success.
During my early years of high school, I always compared myself to others regarding class rank. It got to a point where I began taking classes I was not even excited about. Later, I found out that focusing on myself gave me more satisfaction in my accomplishments and I had more fun. Focusing on yourself doesn’t mean not being competitive or not trying. It doesn’t mean to ignore advice or feedback. It simply means to improve yourself by following your own definition of success. Instead of comparing yourself to others, you should compare yourself to yourself. Ask yourself: “Did I give everything I had? Did I learn something new? Was I better prepared than I was last time?” These are the important questions to ask instead of what someone else got. These questions will lead to true improvement and growth. When we stop comparing ourselves to others, we can see learning as a personal journey instead of a competition.
This mindset applies not only to school but also to life. There will always be people who seem never to fail, achieve things faster or score better. Whether this is in academics, sports, work or life achievements, there will always be people who seem to be better than you. However, as long as we focus on our personal journey and give our best effort, we will find more fulfillment in ourselves.
