A for avoid
Do not spend your time waiting in line to use the bathroom during your first year of high school
When it comes to bathrooms here at Mill Valley, you will quickly learn which ones to avoid and which ones to worship. Fortunately, I have decided to share some top secret information that a large majority of this school is fully aware of.
If it at all possible—under all circumstances—avoid the lower A-wing bathrooms.
Now, this sounds silly, but soon you will see just how absurd the lines are during passing periods. You would think that someone is giving away a new car to everyone who stands in line. Lucky for you, I have some alternatives just for the purpose of relieving yourself during the school day.
The first alternative would be to obviously never drink water again, and do this for the entire school year. Warning: You may become extremely dehydrated. Unfortunately, that is not ideal for some students here at Mill Valley, specifically the muscle men and women of the school purely because they must remain hydrated throughout the day in order to compete.
The second alternative is directed towards these individuals. My tip for you would be to go to the upper and lower B-wing bathrooms. These bathrooms will make you feel uneasy, like something out of a teen horror film. However, for that very reason, the stalls will all be vacant. You’re welcome.
The third and final alternative would be to brave the storm, and take time out of your passing period to stand in that long line of heathens to use the bathroom. One thing to keep in mind while doing this is to go straight to your classroom prior to class starting and tell the teacher you are using the bathroom. That way, if for some reason you end up being late, the teacher will have already seen you and more than likely will not count you as tardy.
While I am fully aware of the fact that this seems to be a complete joke, in all seriousness avoid the lower A-wing bathroom at all costs. On a more logical note, with this being your first year of high school, do not make it all about stress and worry. Make your freshman year fun, and take some risks. Don’t lock yourself in your room and wait for opportunities to come to you, go out and get them yourself.
Make a name for yourself this year, but please don’t carve it into a stall door in the lower A-wing bathroom.